I wanted to know if I’d look better with darker hair. That was the whole question.
It somehow became an analysis of my eyebrows, skin tone, hair texture, undertones, facial features, what colors I wear, and six additional photos because apparently the original evidence packet wasn’t sufficient.
At some point I realized I’d turned hair color into a research project.
This isn’t an isolated incident. I can do this with a hotel, a couch, a restaurant, a haircut, a vacuum, a weekend plan, a $14 thing from Amazon, or two options that are probably 94% identical.
I start out doing something perfectly reasonable: gathering enough information to make a good decision. Then, without really noticing when it happens, I stop trying to make a good decision and start trying to make one Future Me will never question.
That’s a much more ambitious assignment.
There’s a point where I already know enough
The hair thing made this embarrassingly obvious. Seeing myself with darker hair was useful. Comparing a few shades was useful. Looking at how the color worked with my features was useful.
Then I crossed some invisible line where another photo, another comparison, or another opinion probably wasn’t going to change the answer. I kept going anyway.
Part of the problem is that research still feels productive. I’m reading, comparing, eliminating options, checking reviews, opening tabs, and making increasingly specific searches that would concern a normal person. Sometimes that’s progress. Sometimes I already have the answer and I’m actually searching for the feeling of being completely certain about it.
I’d really like research to eliminate second-guessing
I hate the little moment after I choose something when my brain immediately goes, “Okay, but what if the other one was better?” So I keep collecting information beforehand like I might eventually reach a magical point where there’s no possible argument for the other option.
This has worked approximately never.
There’ll always be another hotel. Another review. Another hair color. Another person on Reddit who bought the other one and says it changed their life. Another option I didn’t know existed until 11:47 p.m., which is an extremely dangerous time to introduce a new candidate.
The internet is very good at giving you more information. It’s less interested in telling you when the information stopped being useful.
When another tab stops helping
I’m not going to become a person who does zero research and makes breezy intuitive decisions based on vibes. I like knowing things. I like comparing things. A rabbit hole can be genuinely fun.
I just need a better way to notice when I’m no longer learning anything that matters.
Would one more piece of information realistically change what I choose?
If the answer is yes, I keep looking. If I’m basically searching for another version of something I already know, I probably have enough.
At the end of the hair-color investigation, my hair was still exactly the same. So we’re working on it.
But I’m getting better at noticing when I’ve stopped researching the decision and started researching my own discomfort with making it. That’s usually around tab 19.